The production of this book was motivated by the following observation: English speaking people (particularly the younger generation) are fond of using - sometimes very creative - abbreviations to shorten their texts. As well-known examples, e.g. in messages exchanged or in announcements, abbreviations like CU (for see you), U2 (for you too), T 4 U (for tea for you) or coffee 2 go (for coffee to go) etc are highly popular. This book now goes one important step further: we not only use numbers and single letters to abbreviate English texts but we suggest to also apply elementary mathematical notations to get the texts even more compact. A lot of examples in this book, which are grouped according to different levels of difficulty, should allow the interested readers to become experts in the proposed mathematically oriented reform of English orthography. For all of the riddles, which are sometimes full of surprises and often require thinking around several corners, the solutions are included as well as thorough justifications for them. To make the book more amusing and entertaining, a lot of text examples are accompanied by humoristic illustrations created by the graphic designer Rico W. Hasselfang (alias: Sascha Wolfinger).